Why Therapy?

Therapy, what an odd concept right? There are individuals who get paid to listen to strangers talk about their most personal inner thoughts and feelings, and we’re just supposed to be okay with that? Why would we want to talk to a total stranger about things that we struggle to talk about to our friends and family? Here’s what I think...

How often have you attempted to communicate with friends and/or family and their response is something like “Everyone has problems” or “You shouldn’t feel that way” or even something equally unhelpful such as “The same thing happened to me once”. We have all had these experiences that make us feel ashamed that we are having trouble or going through a rough time. What happens next? We eventually start to bottle up our thoughts/feelings, and we hold onto our most negative thoughts, hoping that hiding them might make them go away or get better. Unfortunately, as most of us probably know, that doesn’t happen, and often the problem gets bigger, and we feel worse.

So why meet with a therapist? What good could possibly come from talking to someone that doesn’t know you or anything about your life? Well let me start by saying that it is completely normal to feel anxious about the prospect of talking with a therapist. It is likely that you will try to talk yourself out of meeting with a therapist several times before committing to it. It is also likely that finding a therapist that you feel is a good fit for you may also take some time. However, after these first two steps, the process does get less daunting. There is a sense of relief when you finally realize that there is someone to talk to without the possibility of rejection or unsolicited advice. For in that moment, we have a safe space to openly communicate about the things we hold so close and we slowly start to feel some comfort.

Clients have often asked me, “What do I talk about” or “I don’t know where to start”. These are common questions that are asked when an individual first starts therapy. It can feel overwhelming and even complicated during the first several sessions. Part of developing the therapeutic relationship is getting to know one another, similarly, to developing other relationships. I often start by asking my clients to discuss a little about themselves and what their current or most recent challenges/barriers are. I encourage my clients to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. This allows the individual to guide the conversation at their pace and not feel intimated or rushed. During the initial sessions, I find it imperative to work collaboratively with the client to develop realistic and attainable therapeutic goals, this process typically helps normalize the therapy process.

I know that you may be cautious about starting therapy. I know that opening up to someone and allowing yourself to be vulnerable may take some motivation and encouragement. You might even consider the possibility that therapy may not be helpful for you. I would like it if you also considered the possibility that therapy could have a positive outcome, and the result may be a healthy and fulfilling future for yourself. There is only one way to find out……